Bodybuilding Mirrors All of Life

It's On . . . .

stabilize nutrition, calculate calories with razor-sharp accuracy, increase water intake, increase cardio . . . train like there is no tomorrow . . . here we go again. 

You Can't Judge a Book . . .

by it's cover so the old saying goes.  Yet so many of us do it and I am certainly no exception.  And if we really pay attention, the world is full of opportunities for us to continuously challenge ourselves and our perceptions. 

Perhaps many of you know Susan Boyle's story but for those of you that remain unaware, please take a few moments and watch the following video clip.  For me, it is not only moving and highly inspirational but moreover personifies the notion that every single one of us has something truly miraculous inside to share with the world and it's up to us to listen . . .    

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RxPZh4AnWyk

2009 Flint/Mid-Michigan Natural

The 2009 contest season is just barely underway and I am at it once again!  This past weekend my friend and colleague Jeff Vitale competed in the 2009 Flint/Mid-Michigan Natural.  I am honored that he trusted me enough to help him prepare and to assist him backstage. 

We had a wonderful time together dialing in his diet, getting his color just so and going into this thing totally prepared.  For me, that is the only way to do it.  Learn from past experience, get everything done ahead of time so that on the day of the competition, all you have to do is concentrate on giving it the very best that you have inside.  All I wanted him to think about was going out onto that stage, sticking every pose to the best of his ability and nailing his 90 second evening routine (which, by the way, he really did!); I had the rest covered.     

I must say that Jeff was an interesting case in terms of diet.  Honestly, I've never seen such a ridiculously fast-acting metabolism in my ENTIRE life!  He merely glances at a piece of cardio equipment and practically drops 10 pounds.  It's insane.  As the competition drew nearer I would tell him, "do ten minutes of cardio every other day."  And then after a couple of sessions he would diligently report his weight and I would say "FORGET IT! STOP! STOP! STOP!"  And this little dance of ours went on and on and on and on . . . and on . . .

Since he chews through calories like an industrial garbage disposal my biggest concern was to make sure that he didn't lose precious muscle during the carb cycling phase of his diet.  If we brought him in too fast, he would be small and flat.  This would not terribly impress the judges.  So, we kept his cardio to a bare minimum and manipulated his caloric intake accordingly. 

As the competition inched closer, I watched him like a hawk.  I felt like a psycho-stalker woman.  He would be out on the gym floor minding his own business and there I was lurking behind pieces of equipment to see what kind of pump he was getting. If I didn't like what I saw, we adjusted his diet.  And, dear reader, I am here to tell you that this went on for weeks.  I think that if I asked him to show me his abs one more time he would charge me a hefty fee . . . and I wouldn't blame him one iota!

Jeff's hard work did indeed pay off.  At the competition, he weighed in at 151 lbs which put him at the top end of the lightweight category.  Perfect.  At the end of the day, Jeff took 3rd place in the Men's Master's Division (over 35) and 1st PLACE in the Men's Open Lightweight Division!

Here's a picture that I snapped backstage with my cell phone.  I didn't have a decent camera back there with me so I can't offer you any more pictures.  Besides, even if I did, I was so obsessed with his color that I wouldn't haven taken shit for photos anyway.  However, I know that other people did take pictures so when I get a hold of them, I will go ahead and post them right here for your enjoyment!  Until then, feel free to read all about the event here.

Congratulations Jeff on a job extraordinarily well done!

Celebrating My Mother's Life

Very shortly after mom passed away, my little sister and I decided that neither a funeral nor a traditional memorial service would provide the appropriate venue to really honor our mother's life.  So instead, we diligently set about planning a "Celebration of Life" event in my little sister's home.  An event totally and completely dedicated to capturing the beautiful expression that was Judith Kathryn Hardy. 

Ultimately, we wanted to create a space where all those who loved her could gather, commune, share, laugh, cry and ultimately say farewell. We had but one restriction -- only the very best of everything would do . . .

Our mother's favorite color was pink so the custom-made invitations sent to over 100 people were pink:

Orchids were our mother's favorite flower so we brought in pale pink orchids from Hawaii to adorn the buffet table:

   . . . and the coffee table in the living room:

Our mother enjoyed taking her grandsons to the butterfly house at the Detroit Zoo so we had a special mixture of seeds available for people to take and plant in the spring; a wildflower medley that will yield a colorful array of flowers that no butterfly can possibly resist:

Photographs of our mother lined the piano:

 

And occupied an entire table set up in the back:

We sifted through thousands of family photographs and compiled a fifteen minute DVD highlighting the many decades of our mother's life that played continuously throughout the event and well into the evening.  We had valet parking, two tables overflowing with gourmet food, fine wine and a guest list that included people that our mother truly loved and who truly loved her.  In short, we dotted every "i" and crossed every "t" . . .  one-thousand times over! 

And, at the end of the day, I am confident that my little sister and I fashioned a very special event that our mother would have really enjoyed.  It was classy, elegant, and extraordinarily well-attended.  Despite the treacherous weather, people came in from all over to celebrate her life.  Among those in attendance were Carol and Jackie; the organist and soloist from my father's church in Madison Wisconsin. 

Certainly, one of the things that I vividly recall from my childhood is Carol and Jackie practicing before church services every Sunday morning.  My mother loved music and would often sit in the sanctuary and listen to them rehearse.  If I really think about it, I can still hear the three of them giggling, laughing and carrying on as if sharing a delicious secret to which no one else in the world was privy.  Back then my mother loved to hear Jackie sing Amazing Grace; it was always one of her very favorite songs.  So as I sat there and listened to Carol play the piano and Jackie sing that all too familiar melody, this time in my mother's memory, I closed my eyes and was instantaneously taken back 30 years to a time when my life was really, really good and everything in my world made perfect sense.

Now, there are no words to express the emptiness.  There are no words to explain the heartache and there are absolutely no words to describe how much I will miss my mother in this life going forward.  But what I know for sure is that our goodbye here is only for a little while and I do take great solace in knowing that one fine day I shall be returned to her once again. 

We love you mom . . . for now . . . for always . . . forever . . .

  In Loving Memory of Judith Kathryn Hardy 1944-2009

On Hiatus

Due to the recent death of my mother, I will be taking a brief hiatus from writing.  These past few months have been extraordinarily difficult and I am finding it quite a challenge to hold a coherent thought in my head. 

In addition to proof reading my mother's death certificate and making the appropriate arrangements for her cremation, my little sister and I are working hard to give my mother a befitting memorial for one loved more than words can define. Since it's the last thing that we will be able to give to our mother, we are making certain that she gets the very best.  No holds barred.

I am sure that I will write in the near future . . . when things settle down a bit and words can find me once again.  However, until then, I thank all of you for your heartfelt prayers and genuine words of love and support that come to me daily.  It is greatly and sincerely appreciated . . . 

OMG! I'm Bert.

Never would I think that Bert and I were anything at all alike; that is, not until I took the Sesame Street Personality Quiz! 

I couldn't help myself.  A friend of mine wanted to know so I decided to humor her by taking the short quiz.  Here are the results:

"Extremely serious and a little eccentric, people find you lovable - even if you don't love them!

You are usually feeling: Logical - you rarely let your emotions rule you

You are famous for: Being smart, a total neat freak, and maybe just a little evil

How you live your life: With passion, even if your odd passions (like bottle caps and pigeons) are baffling to others."

Ugh . . . it's sort of true.  Although I think that I am really a cross between Bert and Oscar; a neat freak I am not!

Notwithstanding, if any of you want to know which character you're most like, click here to find out!  And if you go ahead and do it . . . you gotta tell me!  Okay?!?

 

I Am Hot Chocolate!

 A friend of mine recently sent me this really cool link to a bunch of fun quizzes that you can take to learn certain things about yourself and your personality! 

Not only did I discover that I am a really smart, awesome person (he he he!) but I also learned that if I were a holiday drink . . .  I would be HOT CHOCOLATE! (Probably with LOTS of marshmallows!)

Here was the upshot of my quiz:

"Your holiday personality is generous.
The holidays are your favorite time to practice the art of giving.

You enjoy picking out presents, sharing treats, and making everyone's day a little brighter.
And you don't even notice if you don't get anything in return."

Very true . . . very true indeed!!

Click here to find out which holiday drink you are . . . then if you want, let me know!!

Hear Ye! Hear Ye! Read All About It . . .

I am convinced that there is something profoundly wrong with people that write and widely disseminate holiday newsletters.  If you have never had the pleasure of receiving one of these personally -- consider yourself deeply blessed.

I just got one from my aunt the other day.  It's a real doozy too.  At first blush, you can't help but notice that she went to considerable lengths to create a special holiday experience for her readership.  Take the paper for example -- she didn't use plain white paper --  no siree!  She hand-selected a faux-antique Christmas stationary upon which to spew forth her familial dissertation.  This, no doubt, ensured the appropriate mixture of nostalgia, authenticity and importance. Actually, it is mildly reminiscent of the tasteless paper used to replicate old documents like the Declaration of Independence or the Constitution.  Just looking at it pissed me off.  Then, against my better judgment, I actually read it.  Doing so removed all doubt that my aunt needs to be heavily medicated and/or institutionalized if not just outright shot.

Allow me to share a couple key segments of her holiday essay with all of you.  Of course, I've changed the names to protect the innocent and most importantly, prevent these people from being identified as any of my close relatives.  My brilliant aunt writes:

"We spend most of our time with our immediate family.  To start with Diane [and her two children] moved in with us the day after Christmas last year and they are still with us.  Diane and Matthew's divorce was final August 7th.  Diane [a former school teacher] hadn't taught for 15 years, so she went back to college this last summer to get re-certified as a teacher.  She taught the 6th grade at a charter school in Detroit until she resigned last week.  So, she is substituting for the schools in the area.  Other than that, everything is going well for Diane and the kids."

Allow me to paraphrase here:  "Because of massive undisclosed marital problems, Diane dumped Matthew the day after Christmas last year and moved into our home with her children.  It's costing us a small fortune.  We really hate it but are nonetheless doing a remarkable job pretending.  We can't believe that she finally got off of her ass and found a job but can't say that we were really surprised when she abruptly quit.  What a loser.  Hopefully Diane will get her shit together and get the hell out of our home in 2009." 

Here is yet another dose of holiday cheer:

"Our oldest granddaughter, Stephanie (34) and her husband Jake live in  Podunk, MI.  Their daughter Peggy (our great-granddaughter) has poor circulation in her hands and feet and a reoccurring kidney infection since she was born 1 yr. 3 months ago.  Stephanie and Jake work hard to make sure that she is monitored and kept healthy which causes an occasional hospital visit.  She is having surgery after the first of the year to correct the problem."

Again, allow me to paraphrase: "Peggy is all fucked up.  No one knows what's really wrong with this child.  Hopefully, they can figure it out soon because hearing about all of the hospital visits are becoming a real pain in the ass.  Welcome to life kid.  It's a bitch.  And, by the way, there is no such thing as Santa Clause.  You might as well accept it now.  We hope that 2009 is less shitty for you than was 2008.  Oh yea . . . Merry Christmas."

Luckily, (for her), my aunt didn't include me in her holiday tidings.  And it's a damn good thing too.  Truth is, I really don't talk to or see these people -- save for the occasional funeral -- so why I am on the holiday distribution list is totally lost on me . . . 

But in case my aunt doesn't quite get it, let me be very clear:

If, in between holiday newsletters, I don't use the phone, Morse Code, smoke signals, hieroglyphics, or a singing telegram to contact you . . . I DON'T GIVE A FUCK WHAT 'S GOING ON IN YOUR LIFE! 

A Day in the Life . . .

I promise that I haven't been abducted by aliens, fallen off of the face of the planet, or become hopelessly addicted to purse and make-up parties! 

For those of you who are wondering, here's what I've been up to lately: Training hard core, trying to keep up with my clients' ever-changing holiday schedules, running extra class sessions, playing fantasy football (for those of you who care, I am indeed in the FINALS.  If I secure a win this week, then I become the reigning champion), trying to decide whether or not I want to compete in 2009 (and whether or not I have the time to dedicate) and most importantly, visiting with my mother.

When I am not doing all of this, I've been working on a really cool project for one of my AWESOME clients.  And, when I put the finishing touches on the written portion of it, I will post it right here for all of you to enjoy! 

So, don't anyone worry about me now.  I am hanging in there and I will be back to blogging again real soon!

Until then . . . TRAIN, TRAIN, TRAIN and TRAIN SOME MORE!!!

Pick Me! Pick Me! Uh . . . NOT

The holidays are upon us once again!  Decorations are going up, bright lights and colorful bulbs adorn the trees, people are out and about shopping and everyone is in the mood for festive celebrations complete with lots of food and drink!  This is the time of year when happiness, good will and cheer abundantly flow; it is also the time of year when certain people drink too much egg nog and evidently lose their sensibilities . . . . 

Why just this past week, I've been formally invited to not one but two purse parties. So that means that not one but two people need to lay off of the holiday cheer already.  What in the hell does one do at a purse party?  I've never heard of such a thing!  I hadn't a clue so I inquired and almost immediately wish that I hadn't.  Apparently, it's a "girls" get together where you may browse through quite an array of higher end purses and purchase them at deep, once-in-a-lifetime discounts. 

Here is how one of these parties works:  All of the "girls" meet up at someone's house, eat, drink, and socialize all the while shopping for a purse.  Oh yes!  Pick me!  Pick me! I would love to go because I know so much about purses.  In fact, just the other day I was saying that I can hardly wait until my purse wears out so that I can go to one of these parties and treat myself to a brand new one.  Now that I think about it, I just might go ahead and purchase two because you can't have enough purses.  There's nothing more dreadful than being invited out somewhere and not having the right purse; the mere thought keeps me awake at night.  

Are these people out of their fucking MINDS?  What is it about ME that would remotely suggest that I might fit in let alone actually enjoy one of these events?  LOOK AT ME!  It's like inviting the Spartans to a tu-tu party.  Some things just don't go together very well; myself and purses are one of them.  I look ridiculous carrying a purse; so I don't.  My own mother gave me grief about it for years on end to no avail.  My beloved grandmother went so far as to buy me a purse for Christmas one year and all but threatened my life if I didn't carry it.  I thanked her kindly, promptly threw it into my closet and never thought about it again.  Every time that I went to visit her she inquired about that dumb purse.  After twenty years . . . she finally gave up!

Here's the bottom line -- I don't carry purses.  I don't like purses.  And I certainly don't go to purse parties.  So, if you happen to see me walking down the street carrying a purse, seek shelter because it's a sure sign that the world is coming to an abrupt and immediate END!